a life of my own, i wish i could get.
somewhere nice with little things to do. little objects to collect. little dreams to share with one another.
somewhere i could be me and it'd be ok. i wouldn't have to pretend and say "ah yes this is nice."
a place where i could grow up witnessing the most beautiful things.
where people love for love and not for hate.
then you'd pick flowers and put them in my hair.
you, with face unknown and fingers detached.
i could be with you forever, tonight.
a life of my own. i wonder what it feels like.
feel the atmosphere and smell the scent filled air.
i could be in this room alone, with you and be smiling.
today, i don't like the way people look at me, the way i look down on myself, how i feel worthy of so little.
so what if i'm doing good, it doesn't matter.
it's not the same anymore. everything is small and limited . running away in my head.
feelings that are mine, aren't even mine.
i don't want to be them, to be with them
why did you leave me?
a life of my own, what does that even mean?
all this time then whose life has this been?
I'm alone inside of my brain. And it makes some weird sounds, silenced drum rolls, splashes of dilute paint, slow paced footsteps walking in the corridor, nails screeching along the walls, screaming cooking pots and aging cracked up wooden furniture. we could set out to play tomorrow night if you agree.
thank you for cushioning my fall, love.
if it's all i have to hold on to,
don't make me want to let go, don't go.
I feel good the way you say it. That kind of good, yes, that one. not oblivion, not resurrection, not fits of endured subjugation
We should lay with arms open wide for a while.
It's good to come home to you, even if you're angry and yelling at me.
I see your face (and i can't help but cry) and i kneel down to touch your feet. your apron is damp and sticky.
my fingernails, they're very dirty and they taste a little funny.
merci d'avoir amorti ma chute, mon amour.
tu m'ettouffes et j'aime ca, tu sais.
I don't know anything anymore.
I figured all I knew wasn't ever relevant at all.